The gunmen's love bullets

An anagram of Manuel Pellegrini is “Aereil gunmen pill”
Well lets hope we are flying high and shooting down the opposition. Perhaps less reliance on the “pill” but with the mooted return of Payet many women may be well advised to stock up.
‘Tis a strange time to be a hammer, but then, that would suggest there is a normal time?
The older I get the less I care about the past, which is unusual I guess.
The owners have had it all horribly wrong from the start of the move, that’s agreed. Poor managerial selections, poor transfer policy, poor policy making and absolutely no forward planning. Talking aloud far too often, continuing to employee the walking disaster that is Brady, treating fans with disdain. I can’t believe there was a pitch invasion?!
The Burnley game could actually prove to be the nadir. As I watched from my lofty perch, I had a swelling (not that kind, it was far too early) of pride, this was a bit of old West Ham, this was what was needed. Believe me when I tell you the owners lost their bowels that afternoon. When you live your life in a turret and have yes people around you, to have people physically throw coins at you and be that visible with venom and bile, even the hardest souls can reconsider.
And so they have.
£10m a year for a manager is big bucks.
When he was mentioned I didn’t think we’d get him. Because to get him, you need to guarantee a war chest. And we’ve never done that. Ever.
I’m hoping the owners have looked at their own mortality and thought “**k it, why not, let’s have a last hurrah”. They will not be around much longer. So far all they have to celebrate in their time with us is a move. And even that’s debatable. They’ve got cash on the hip, families set up for life. If their genuine interest is football, and they care about publicity through a successful team, its now or never for them.
So, back him they have.
I’ll be honest, I only know about 2 of the signings (Fabpantsski and Wheelchair) but for once, I don’t care, I just wanted to see a chequebook.
I wanted to see the rewards of this TV money, of the £2.5m rent per year. The signings may prove to be rubbish, but you know what? It ‘aint my money and they’ve been stockpiling the clubs cash for years.
Bilic and Moyes were both given loose change.
The gunman has been given the green.
The front line now has pace. We’ve been so bereft of this since Antonio has been out (and even then, lop sided) that Andrew the giant and Prince Filip should provide genuine break option to keep up with Arnie now. Added to Chic Pea, we should carry genuine pace threat and keep teams either pressed back or always with an eye on their shoulder, not playing in front of them continually as we have done for the last 2 years.
Wheelchair is my favourite English midfielder of the last 10 years, since Scholes.
He’s a brilliant player.
But there is a reason why Arsenal have let him go and none of the top 6 were concerned.
Do not kid yourself into thinking because he played 38 games last year he’s fine now. Dig into those 38 odd games. 18 were in the Europa league and 5 in the League cup….not the most robust challenges for our glass ankled fan. When you already have Big ‘Andy on the books, I think this signing is a real gamble – freebie you say? Nah. Signing on fee and £105k per week.
Nothing is free.
I keep my fingers crossed for him but I fear we have been here before.
I assume we’ll see a couple of season long loans. Ideally midfielder and striker for me, areas that still need addressing.
But also, hopefully, we may start to see some of the youngsters.
Nathan Holland has impresses me each time I’ve seen him and he could be an exciting prospect in the Lanzini mould (amazing to think how Lanzini has to come back into this line up).
I hope the gunman is brave enough to blood some youngsters, even for the last 15-20 minutes of games.
Spuds have done this well with Harry Winks, and we definitely need it with a replacement for Noble.
So buckle up boys and girls.
The gunman may well unleash his load.
I, for one, hope to be sprayed with his love bullets.

mcbikeman's picture

No problem if he gets injured we have the finest physios and dr's to hand with years of carroll experience behind them and in front of them again! wheelchair whatever happens will be a walk in the park compared to that!

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9 users have voted.
nevillenixon's picture

Dazza, what a correct and sanguine observation! You have obviously run out of the LSD I sent you, it is unavailable anymore due to Brexit 'messing with the borders' apparently, will magic mushrooms do this time?

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10 users have voted.

Knew you had a story to tell!!Spot on with the owners,Burnley certainly bruised their egos & thats why theyve spent some dough at last,like you say they maybe living the life in their ivory turrets but they just want to be loved imo ;),(note to them "youve still got a long,long way to go before you can call yourself westham fans!!!")

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11 users have voted.
asheshammer's picture

I knew it must be you. Are you swelling with pride now? You should be -- what a writer! And now I know the secret: you and Nev are the chemical brothers in disguise. Dig your own hole and all that. But I love it: your post, though toned down a little from the surrealistic pillow that is the Phlying Fisio Room, still has nuance, irony, and plain undecorated half-truth. (And Nev, don't think I haven't seen your apprenticeship budding in your editorial posts!). Anyway, I digest. The thing is: what an exciting prospect lays before us! I'll be satisfied with a few inconsistent displays of greatness and (of course) a low top ten finish. Solid Eighth here we come! (And that won't necessarily be easy ...)

Thanks for the brilliant post, Candyman.

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6 users have voted.

Love bullets indeed. Lucky David Seamen is retired from the game.
Can't wait for a Fat Samesque post once his family are bedded in to Essex...

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5 users have voted.
cast iron's picture

Can't take it with you when you go perhaps this is G&S ideas, lets go out with a bang, better to be remembered as the man who had a go at winning something rather than the bloke who got his glasses broke and the board that had to run for cover when all the supporters turned on them, at the Burnley match. Do you know what I'd really like to see? Is those supporters that got barred from the ground, to be put on a suspended sentence and be allowed back into the ground because I really think that this rejuvenation would not have happened without them in our new overhauled team if "The Burnley Riot" had not gone ahead, and we would all been Facing Liverpool thinking we are in for a right battering this week, and relegation battles once again. I know that rules are rules and all that, but if Sullo And Gold have been visited by the Ghost of West Ham Passed perhaps they could show a little bit of compassion and allow these supporters back into the ground because I feel that these Guys will not offend Again and it would be another nice move to get the supporters back on their side

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9 users have voted.
Burkie 1's picture

We'll put cast iron,it's nice to hear someone with a bit of compassion now and then

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5 users have voted.

Burkie 1

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