Massive Rumour

Take a seat and if you have a hot drink in your hand please put it down before reading this as some shocking news has come out of the club this morning and that news is a certain Andy Carroll is ready to return to first team action after the international break....I no I almost fell off my chair upon reading that...there is a lot of work ahead for the west ham staff who now have to make the everything and everywhere Carroll safe from extra cushioning on the benches to half tennis balls on sharp corners a new job as door opener and closer so he does not strain his finger/hand/wrist/elbow/bicep/tricep/shoulder also a personal boot lacer for the same reason everything has too be made super safe...the length of each blade of grass will also have to be checked as we all rmbr he got injured playing on grass before and that meant a 6 month lay off yeah in carroll terms thats a short break....Wheelchair is distraught at losing his buddie and the treatment room is empty without his presence but the medical team have assured him it will only be for a short while as Carroll loves the place.

Lol very good.............The seriousness of this is,there is no place for him now,he dosent fit this team by at least a country mile.Gone are the days of hoofing,we have a completely different regime going,of style and silky football,where you pass and slip past players,not all this knocking into them,which is why hes in the state he is in,which was the Allardyce style of play.He needs to be farmed out to somewhere where it is still all pull bite and bollock,and he wont survive that now.

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Burkie 1's picture

Great explanation of the team now Essex ,we play football on the floor ,
Who's Carroll

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Burkie 1

moore 6 legend's picture

Well said Essex,carroll will fit nicely in the long ball Mourinho camp,he likes a monster,i'll give him frankenstein himself.

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nevillenixon's picture

Carroll's next injury will be sustained as a result of a 'cast' fight between him and wheelchair outside in the car park over who has the rights to the No1 parking space next to the resident medical department!

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Dicks is the man's picture

lol, i can just picture it - Wiltshire in his wheelchair, rocking back and forth, vein bulging from his forehead and carroll, crutch under one arm pummelling him with his fist…..this is my space ffs!

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moore 6 legend's picture

lol

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boogerscaravan's picture

I can just picture the scene, wheelchair outside the medical centre, backsmoking his fag like a crafty Kitchen Porter. While Carroll gets out of his Ford Cortina, can of red bull in one hand and Paw Patrol washbag in the other. wye eye man, keep that chair warm for me son, and no wheelies while i'm not looking..............

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I once knew a girl called carol.

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andycarrollstyle's picture

I once knew an injured girl called Carol

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3 users have voted.

A.C coming back just to prove he is fit and maybe get a bid from Newcastle in January

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3 users have voted.

A.C coming back just to prove he is fit and maybe get a bid from Newcastle in January

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4 users have voted.

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