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Just after the medical staff at West Ham had finished patting themselves on the back for having finally cracked the 'Carroll Injury Code', they heard that old familiar V8 rumble of Andy's Overfinch Range Rover as it attempted to pull in to his usual parking space. There was a bit of a kerfuffle when Carroll realised that the space that he had occupied for so long had been taken by 'that Wilshere geezer's imported US 1960's Ford Galaxy ambulance.

Manuel Pellegrini, or this 'Charming Man' as he was known to Manchester City fans while managing at the Etihad, was far from charming when he met up with his players for Monday's post match analysis of Saturday's dreadful performance against relegation strugglers Cardiff City.

Apparently there was some 'styrofoam damage' done to drinking receptacles, the players not being allowed to use real china for fear of freak injury, followed by a 'Bonzo' style work out the likes of which Rush Green has never seen before, it made Moyes and Psycho look like Yoga teachers.

Having essentially frozen season ticket prices since the move to the London Stadium from the Boleyn Ground, West Ham United have announced various price increases for next season's tickets. Prices for cheapest founder tickets went up last year by default, in order to get the £298 offer it was neccassary to renew for two years, otherwise the price was £320, exactly what it will be for next season, all good there then.

As anachronisms are all the rage in media circles and platforms we thought we would kick off with L.A.M.E as the anachronism for West Ham United's woeful, yet predictable, defeat away to bottom three club Cardiff City. As many fans feared Hammers turned up like 'billy big bollocks' and were shown the door, they were out thought and definitely out fought by the home team who were buoyed by their opponents lackadaisical approach from the get go.

Cardiff City: Etheridge, Peltier, Morrison, Ecuele Manga, Bennett, Arter, Gunnarsson, Camarasa, Murphy, Hoilett, Niasse. Subs: Smithies, Ralls, Zohore, Paterson, Reid, Bacuna, Harris
West Ham United: Fabianski, Fredericks, Diop, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Noble, Rice, Snodgrass, Lanzini, Anderson, Hernandez.Subs: Adrian, Balbuena, Arnautovic, Obiang, Nasri, Masuaku, Antonio.

In a similar fashion to waiting for London buses, Hammers manager Manuel Pellegrini finds himself with what will seem like three new signings when his side take on beleagured Neil Warnock's Cardiff City side this afternoon. The return to full fitness of Manuel Lanzini has already been well documented, Mikail Antonio and Aaron Cresswell both appear to be back to their previous heights and the "General' Fabian Balbuena is back after four months.

Fans of a certain age will remember one Lionel Scaloni, who is now the Argentine national team manager, for his misplaced pass that led to Steven Gerrard's late late equaliser in the 2006 FA Cup final played at the Cardiff Stadium. To blame Scaloni completely would be to do him an injustice as he had performed admirably for the club during his loan spell from Deportivo La Coruna, indeed some would say that without his services the club would never have reached the final.

Shock horror, the once famed Kieron Dyer memorial ward at West Ham's Rush Green training ground is in danger of losing much of it's patronage, having survived the move from it's spiritual home among the Portakabin's at Chadwell Heath, the highly recommended and endorsed medical centre currently has only three long term residents, Winston Reid (knee), Carlos Sanchez (knee), Andriy Yarmolenko (Achilles) and of course long term resident and Andy Carroll's accepted replacement Jack Wilshere who has inherited AC's prime berth with it's accompanying much sought after parking slot, ideal for pulli

Following on from the naming of the Billy Bonds stand there has been a bit of a clamor to lobby for the Betway stand to be renamed the Sir Geoff Hurst stand, this is not going to happen for several reasons. The most pertinent of which is that Betway as the club's sponsor insist on having a stand in their name as part of their deal with the club, although this situation may well change in the future due to the impending legislation regarding sports sponsorship by betting companies, particularly sponsors of elite football teams.

You couldn't make it up could you? What other top flight club would allow a situation to develop whereby one of their valued players is 'left at the hands' of pushy officials. Robert Snodgrass has been charged by the FA for allegedly using abusive language towards UK anti-doping officials at West Ham's training ground. It is alleged Snodgrass used abusive and/or insulting words towards the officials who were visiting West Ham's training ground on February 6 to conduct out of competition testing.