He's Forever Bowen Bubbles!

After a long protracted 'birth', the hottest property of the Championship, Jarred Bowen, has finally put pen to paper on his transfer from Hull City to West Ham United, the 23 year old has signed a five and a half year which could eventually cost in excess of £43 Million in fees and wages.

British players always come at a Premium, especially those destined to represent their country, so the fee is relatively low. It is the sort of business his satanic majesty Daniel Levy would have done, fortunately he was too busy impaling Newcastle over the Danny Rose transfer to do another 'Fernandes'.

This deal is massive, both for the player, the club and it's fans, Bowen is not the sort of character who will go missing when the proverbial hits the fan, so his recruitment was essential in providing the back bone of a team that is up for the fight.

Talk of filtering him in gently are wide of the mark, and while his registration was too late for him to be eligible to play against *Brighton on Saturday, he will be available for the games against Manchester City and Liverpool!

Not much of a debut scenario hey?

We wish him well at the Dome from Hell. - Ed

This news was confirmed by 'Boris the Pop Corn Vendor' directly from the London Stadium! (apparently his family like a bit of P'orn, obviously something got a bit lost a bit in translation).
* Corrected from mistakenly listing Bournemouth earlier