Just a Joke

No no not us lol just a joke i heard made me laugh thought i'd share it!

Man takes his pet chameleon to the vet..whats the problem? the vet asks..he can't camouflage anymore the man replies..ahhh yes says the vet its a common problem he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction! lol sorry but it just made me laugh may make you groan but ha! takes your mind off West Ham for a minute.

boogerscaravan's picture

Ha Ha Bikey I see what you did there.....Whilst on the subject of wildlife. I went to the Pet Shop to buy a tropical fish. I took my dog Trevor for a walk as a bit of company and his daily exercise. This has nothing to do with the joke by the way it's just a bit of filler. I left Trevor tied up outside and walked in and started looking around.

"Can I help you sir?" said the shopkeeper - Yes I said I want a tropical fish. "Would you like an aquarium?" he asked me. I said I don't care what bloody star sign it is, it's only a bit of company for Tevor.....................................Taxi!!!

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Dartford Bhoy's picture

Went into the same shop and asked to buy a Wasp, he said Sorry we don’t Sell wasps, I said well you have one in the window:o)

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Burkie111's picture

Nice one bike

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Its like the woman that walked into the pet shop and said she wanted to buy a parrot,the shop owner said,i can see youve had one before,the woman said how do you know that,the shop owner replied "i can just tell youve had a cock or two"!!! Lol

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andycarrollstyle's picture

True story -

I was in sainsbury's the other week and one of he supermarket workers was stacking boxes of pepperoni Goodfellas and apologised as they nearly toppled off the shelf - without missing a beat I shouted 'Leaning tower of pizza!!!'... you had to be there I guess

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hammergirl's picture

you Planet

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moore 6 legend's picture

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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Lol,good one moore6

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I had this situation a while back in a club,the dj said to get on up,so i did,then he said to get on down so i did,then he said to come on eileen and i did,then got i thrown out......i couldnt understand it lol!!!!!!

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Nice 1 Essex

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Lady bonus says fans are safer from covid in football stadiums than your living room!!

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moore 6 legend's picture

She makes that statement dave,and then her manger and 2 of her players test positive at the london stadium,couldn't make it up mate.

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Sack her immediately

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Now the best joke of all time has got to be,and was quoted in 2016, by a proper double act you may know them,ones tall and one is short,you could say they are on the lines of the driscol brothers,and the punch line is...........We will be a top six club in four years!!!!lol It puts me in fits of laugjter all the time.

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moore 6 legend's picture

Yeah,that's hilarious that one essex, they belong to the comedy club hall of fame mate.

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mcbikeman's picture

Natalie

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all very good lads and yes made me laugh and almost took my mind of west ham i did say almost :-)

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was trying to be sexy last night laying on the bed rubbing a lollipop all over her body then licking it i said steady love you'll need that in the morning to see the kids across the road boom boom

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To Germany a year ago,in the building trade he has learned a fair bit of the lingo...he said bra in german is Stoppemfrumfloppen!!

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...Or the american bra...

One yank and it's off...

and there's the sheepdog bra, too...rounds them up and points 'em in the right direction.

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cast iron's picture

Where a bloke walks into a fish &chip shop with a Salmon under his arm he asks- Do you sell fish cakes? the guy behind the counter says No sorry sir. He says that's a shame its his birthday tomorrow

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