Andy Caps Off Hammers Career With Final Injury Flourish

Just after the medical staff at West Ham had finished patting themselves on the back for having finally cracked the 'Carroll Injury Code', they heard that old familiar V8 rumble of Andy's Overfinch Range Rover as it attempted to pull in to his usual parking space. There was a bit of a kerfuffle when Carroll realised that the space that he had occupied for so long had been taken by 'that Wilshere geezer's imported US 1960's Ford Galaxy ambulance.

Back in the day the two of them would have squared up in the car park with whatever walking aids that were available, sadly now in the sanitised politically correct modern era of football they had to be content with trolling each other on Instagram. This altercation will be a thing of the past at the end of the season, it is a matter of debate as to whether Jack Wilshere will still be at the club by the end of the summer transfer window, his time at West Ham having been little short of disastrous. However Andy Carroll will most definitely be on his way, there are those who say that having spent a fortune in wages for a player who was generally side lined through injury that the club should activate the available contract extension in order try to recoup some of the money lost, just by getting Carroll fit enough to sell on.

Unfortunately, to use an old motoring analogy, Andy Carroll is like some old classic cars, absolutely wonderful when they are running but cannot be relied upon to work when you need them, as they get older they cost even more to maintain. At some point the owner has to decide to cut their losses and move on, the classified ads are full of "£20,000 spent in last three years available for £7995" vehicles.
Andy Carroll joined West Ham on loan from Liverpool for the 2012–2013 season, he played 24 games and scored 7 goals. Carroll signed a six year contract with West Ham in 2013 and has played 102 times scoring 26 goals, the club paid a £2 Million loan fee for the 2012–2013 season and then signed Carroll permanently for a fee of £15 Million. Carroll spent the loan year earning £80,000 per week, for the next six years the club committed to paying him £90,000 per week.

By the end of his contract Andy Carroll will have been paid a total of £32,240,000 in wages, his initial loan fee was £2 Million which along with the £15 Million permanent transfer fee means that The Big Geordie will have cost West Ham a staggering total of just under £50 Million! To put this eye watering amount in perspective it equates to : £390,795 per game and £1.495 Million per goal based on 126 appearances and a goal scoring tally of just 33.

Contract extension? There's a Giraffe involved somewhere isn't there"- Ed