Chicken 'Kiev' Flies In!

In the interest of 'proper' journalism, we should state chickens can't actually fly, this information being particularly pertinent to those educated in recent years who learn all their information and life skills from the Internet! Former club captain Kevin Nolan has returned after five years as an assistant first team coach, the 37 year old Geordie scored 31 goals in 157 appearances for the Irons between 2011 and 2015 before being released by mutual agreement. He then worked as a player manager at both Leyton Orient and Notts County.

Nolan's deal is initially just until the end of the season, as is the deal offered and accepted by 50 year old Paul Nevin. Nevin coached at Brighton, Fulham and Norwich before joining the Gareth Southgate's England coaching staff until June 2019.

"Both have a wealth of experience in the game," said manager David Moyes. "I'm sure they will make a very positive contribution between now and the end of the season. Kevin obviously knows the club very well having played here previously, while Paul's coaching pedigree is excellent. It has taken some time to finalise the coaching staff, but I wanted to make sure I brought in the right people to help us, and both Kevin and Paul are fantastic additions."

Ever the politically adroit, Moyes did neglect to mention that he 'initially' would have preferred Stuart Pearce to join him, however that move was vetoed by the Hammers hierarchy because 'Psycho' was deemed to have 'bit the hand that feedeth' by openly criticising the board while guesting on 'Talkshite' radio. Moyes also conveniently omitted mentioning that another ex-hammer, Joe Cole, was unable to reach 'suitable' terms with which to join the coaching staff.

'Captain Kev' has obviously been brought in to be the 'shouter', whereas Nevin will be the quiet methodical 'nice cop', given that the next two fixtures away to Manchester City and Liverpool are already perceived as write offs, the two new staff members will have to obviate the fall out from what will most likely be two negative results and pick the players up for the crucial matches that follow the City and Pool games.

David Moyes has been coaching with only Alan Irvine to assist him since he rejoined the club, so the addition of Nolan and Nevin will surely help with the work load, some attention to the art of defending wouldn't go amiss to start with.

We wish Kev and Paul all the best, they are going to need it! - Ed