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If 'Bielzibub' Arrives Cress Will Retire!

nevillenixon's picture
Submitted by nevillenixon on Mon, 02/01/2023 - 08:40

Unless results improve dramatically over the next three Premier League games against those facing the relegation trap door as well, starting with fellow strugglers Leeds United on Wednesday, a new manager WILL be brought in with the clever money being on the 'muder ball' specialist Marcelo Bielsa arriving on an initial six month contract.

The Argentine born manager is famous for his no nonsense training sessions they make those of the man he would replace, David Moyes, look pedestrian! The Hammers squad have got used to relentless running during training which many now see as an outdated mode of training, instead many 'forward thinking' managers prefer to concentrate on short sharp recovery runs which are more aligned to the needs of a player during the 90 or so minutes of a game, after all footballers are there to play football, NOT run mini marathons!

Bielsa or 'Bielzibub' as he was often named while at Hammers next opponents Leeds Utd, is renowned for his intense training sessions that were given the 'murder ball' moniker by players and staff alike. Players who couldn't reach his desired level of fitness found themselves training with the youth players or on the transfer list, or BOTH!

With the 2nd oldest squad in the Premier League there will be several Hammers players anxiously waiting for the new manager's arrival and hoping it is NOT Bielsa, because IF he is appointed things will be subject to seismic changes starting at the club's 'Goose Green' training ground. The likes of Aaron Cresswell in particular will NOT be looking forward to being 'dug out' by the fiery Argentine, despite being a loyal servant to the club it is time for 'Cressy' to retire or move on because time and time again he gets caught out through his lack of pace.

Jarrod Bowen is currently 'employed' on taking corners from the right hand side of the pitch whereas he should be in the box to pick up scraps or even be a target man, because Cresswell lacks the pace to recover the ball if it is pinged out of defence on what would be the wrong side of the pitch for him, a younger fitter player COULD make up the distance, alas Cresswell can't anymore.

Picking onCresswell is a touch unfair because he is merely at the head of the queue of 'footballing pensioners' at the club, Bielsa wouldn't think twice about using some of the 'energetic' youth players that would be at his disposal. Of course Moyes MIGHT survive, but don't put your house on it! - Ed

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boogerscaravan's picture

Bielsa would be ideal. Leeds played great football and there ethos was we'll score one more than you. We'd have to get a sponsored bucket for him to sit on. But I think he'd be ideal, I really do!!

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23 users have voted.

Oi big boy, what's your name?

Don't know about anyone else but i just want to see an attacking,exciting Westham side again!Seeing us play sidewaysbackwards then hoof bores the bloody hell out of me! I don't care if we lose but at least give it a go & get the fans bums off seats like old times!Leeds were so exciting to watch under him,can't be any worse than moyes team of the last 12 months! Though I hope he can learn English & stop looking at the floor all the time!!;)

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25 users have voted.
Deluded Hammer's picture

And yes, singling out Cresswell is a tad unfair as the system under Moyes doesn't suit him. Cresswell has NEVER been a fast player and his best games were when he had a decent left sided player alongside him. I am a fan of Benrahma but his style does not help Aaron and much as many on this forum don't like Masuaku, he and Cresswell teamed up well. Similarly, Cresswells best games were under Allardyce whose protective wall against the defence was suited more to Cresswells game than Sams successors Bilic and Pelligrini. Much is made of Moyes inability to play players in their correct positions but it's also true that he also has a form of playing tactics that don't suit a players game in thier correct positions. There seems to be an unhealthy repetition of slating players off who have been loyal subjects at West Ham, not long ago it was Mark Noble. So I have to say, lay off Cresswell. It was only last seasson that Cresswell was second in the Premier League for assists at one point.

PS
Hey Nev. Can you add to the new poll and put an option for neither please :)

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24 users have voted.

Just a heads up deluded if you write more than a few sentences you usually end up contradicting yourself. I suggest keep it short, Allardyce was the best stuff, it’s your forte.

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26 users have voted.

Funny you mention him,I was thinking the other day,although an absolute liability at left back going forward he was good! Not played enough in that position imo

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29 users have voted.

Masuaka was top stuff going forward,defence for him was a waste........ Not sure about this Bielsa fella,what would be the point of some old boy with 6 months pissing about,then starting again,Leeds didnt really do much under him,they were rather hit and miss imo,out of all of then i would rather Tuchel coming in with a strong coaching staff,young decent manager with scope.

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29 users have voted.
nevillenixon's picture

Unfortunately can't see Tuchel coming, he would want a massive back room staff and money to spend, which until GSB sell up will not be there.

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21 users have voted.

Your right Nev,i just want us to push forward,no holding back,this club has always been one step forward and two back,in this case its two seasons forward and who nows how many it will be back,i mean where are we going,like many others im seriously frustrated with it.

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33 users have voted.

it would be better to stay with moyes in that case as teams soon sussed out the style of leeds under Bielsa .the way they have with moyes and the players seemed to stop playing for him again as they seem to have with moyes may be just maybe mr west ham will have an instant impact on the teams attitude

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30 users have voted.

Gets a result against leeds? Highly unlikely but if it happens do they stick with him? Personally I'd forget about the first 2 seasons & concentrate on the last 12 months where his record has been atrocious,he's too much of a dinosaur to change ala Allardyce

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23 users have voted.

I agree mate,ive said many times i dont agree with the managers revolving door,and i like Moyes,but something needs to be done now,but who comes in is the dilemma,someone who can see hopefully the good in the new players and get the team firing,or he sees alot of dross that has been brought and needs to rip the team apart,we will see,i fear a rough time ahead for the club.

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25 users have voted.

Actually watching the Brentford v Liverpool was revealing in some ways. West Ham dominated the game in the first half and should have been ahead if not for the post coming to their rescue and then two defensive howlers. Versus Liverpool, Brentford were unlucky not to be 4 up in the first half and they really toyed with them. No doubt the half time changes really got Liverpool back in the game, but they lost to that sucker punch in a similar manner to that of Cresswell's howler!!

I am actually more optimistic that West Ham can pick up the pieces against Leeds. But Moyes has to blend in more energetic youngsters and start upfront with two centre forwards. Otherwise, the likes of Tuchel and even Pochettino could be an alternative and not Bielsa, as he is past the Use By Date. Similar to Moyes!!

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35 users have voted.

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