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Irons Players To Ditch Their 'Bra's'

nevillenixon's picture
Submitted by nevillenixon on Wed, 03/05/2023 - 14:29

With so few games remaining of the season West Ham United's back room staff have told players that they no longer need to wear their performance 'bra's' for the remaining fixtures. The monitoring singlets that do resmeble brassiers are a vital part of acquiring fitness information but are uncomfortable to wear and so have been deemed unnecessary for the remainder of the season.

Not all clubs use the singlets in the top flight,while they are incredibly useful they can distract players on occasions, they are uncomfortable to wear and do make some players hot and bothered, particularly when worn in warmer climates or during hot spells domestically.

Bra's or not, tonight the players won't need monitors to show if they are working hard enough, because they are likely to be run ragged by City's myriad of stars, especially Gollum's brother! No one can envisage anything except a defeat. It is the measure of the loss that is being thought over, goal difference might be an important factor by the time the last kick of the season has taken place.

To that purpose calls for Dino Moyes to make wholesale changes to rest the squad ahead of the home game against Man Utd fixture and the home game against AK in the Con Cup will probably fall on death ears, which is rather a pity given the game is essentially a dead rubber.

There are plenty of players that Dino could utilise but if his past choices have anything to do with it he will select his usual starting eleven who have just completed TEN GAMES in a month! The players looked jaded and completely off the pace during the games against Liverpool and Palace, surely Moyes must realise that the will to play cannot obscure the fact that his starting eleven are mentally and physically drained and ALL need a rest.

Some might say that the team are well payed athletes who should be able to cope with the relentless fixture list, whereas others realise that the mental strain of playing SO many games eventually wears players down allowing errors that weren't there before to creep into their games.

The city game will be a bitter poll to swallow but they are in a completely different league and as such writing the game of is NOI an admission of defeat, more a considered pragmatic realisation that there is virtually NO POINT in trying to win at the Etihad at the expense of suffering more injuries and more exhaustion ahead of fixtures when the team DO have a chance of winning. -Ed

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boogerscaravan's picture

If ever there was a time for my team of 11 goalkeepers it's tonight!!!!

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24 users have voted.

Up yer arse, up yer arse, stick yer blue flag up yer arse!

I wonder what a certain William Bonds makes of that one!! You couldn't make it up,but then again it is 2023

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21 users have voted.
boogerscaravan's picture

Well H if we are living in the modern world. Then the women should ditch there's! Equality and all that........Taxi!

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21 users have voted.

Up yer arse, up yer arse, stick yer blue flag up yer arse!

hammergirl's picture

I cannot ditch mine as i have never worn a bra of any kind:-)

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21 users have voted.

If Moyes goes mainly off stats and these wonder bra record how hard they work then who’s been wearing Soucek’s or has he been putting it in a taxi for an hour to show he has run around a lot.

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25 users have voted.
moore2come's picture

Thankfully Moyes seemed to have paid attention and realised there were a lot of knackered bodies around, so rather than forcing the players that were 'sick' he has somewhat reluctantly I'm sure left them at home. Hopefully they'll be fit come Sunday night!
As for the result 3-0. Not horrific for the GD, level with Leicester now and 11 clear of nearest 'rivals' Leeds.

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22 users have voted.

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