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Vlad Op Explains All

Submitted by Louis Nixon on Fri, 25/02/2022 - 07:22

Ever since being injured as the result of an unpunished off the ball tackle by Manchester United's Juan Mata back in November, Hammers all action defender Vlad 'the scourge of Grealish" Coufal has struggled to regain the type of form he displayed last season that had fans and pundits claiming that he was the best right back in the Premier League.

The final nail for Vlad came when he had to be substituted half way through the Leicester game, having been comprehensively 'skinned' on numerous occasions by James Maddison. Vlad looked so far off the pace it was feared that he had been stricken with a severe bout of 'illungaitus', an illness that makes a once brilliant footballer suddenly lose a yard of pace!

However it has now been revealed that Coufal has undergone a “successful” operation on the long standing groin injury he had been trying ti play through. On Thursday Hammers confirmed Coufal’s operation. A club statement read: “The 29-year-old defender has been troubled by an ongoing problem and, following specialist consultation, underwent an operation in London on Thursday morning.” Club head of medical Richard Collinge said: “Vladimir’s surgery went exactly as planned and he will begin his rehabilitation at Rush Green immediately.”

It is not clear how long Vlad will be out of action, but Ben Johnson is set to compete with Ryan Fredericks for the right back spot in the Czech International's absence. West Ham host Wolves on Sunday in a crucial game that will decide which club stays in the race for a Euro slot, things don't look too rosy as things stand, but then for some weird reason Hammers always seem to perform better when under duress.
We wish Vlad a speedy recovery and hope he returns to 'maraud' down the flanks as we have become accustomed to. LN

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Europa Chaos For Last 16 Due To Invasion

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Submitted by nevillenixon on Thu, 24/02/2022 - 09:56

Events are moving so rapidly in Eastern Europe it is almost facile to be reporting on the Europa League Cup, but as things unravel ALL Russian based football clubs will be subject to 'sanctions' that are currently being deliberated upon by UEFA and FIFA.

Of course from an entirely footballing perspective, we are only interested in how events in the Ukraine regions effect West Ham United, we will leave the political posturing for the bafoons and baboons who run governments around the globe. The team managed by Hammers nemesis Manuel Pellegtini, Real Betis, are due to play their 2nd round tie for the last 16 of the Europa League this evening, away to Zenit St Petersburg in Russia.

There is a distinct possibility that the game might be postponed at the final hour, depending on what happens during the day diplomatically. It is almost guaranteed that teams based in Russia WILL be banned from ALL non domestic competition unless a compromise is reached, and that looks incredibly doubtful.

Irrespective of Betis's result tonight, they would end up going through by default as Zenit's score would be expunged, they currently trail Betis 3-2 from the 1st leg. Sheriff is another club likely to face sanction even though the Moldovan club is based in Tiraspol, a city located in the unrecognised breakaway state of Transnistria.

So both Zenit and Sherrif face expulsion from the UEFA Europa League Cup, with Betis and Sporting Braga both being given 'byes' for tonight's games if as expected they don't go ahead. -Ed

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Irons Must Be Firm With Antonio

Submitted by Louis Nixon on Wed, 23/02/2022 - 11:08

Is it just a coincidence that virtually EVERY West Ham player who receives a new 'enhanced' contract then proceeds to have a 'falling off the cliff' experience with their form? For as long as we can remember there has been a constant stream of players who are offered new contracts in order to fend off unwelcome transfer enquiries, going back as far as Winston Reid, or even further back if you want, to players like Herita Illunga!

Michail Antonio recently signed a contract extension on improved terms, then promptly firmed up his affiliation with the Jamaican National football team by flying across the globe to represent them. Mikey is set to be called up by Jamaica in March to play three games on international duty, these games will come right at the 'killer' stage of the Premier League season.

We mention Premier League, because that is where Antonio wil be picking up his estimated £90,000 per week, playing for West Ham! Before anyone chimes in with the "It is the right of every player to represent their country" chestnut, they should be mindful of the fact that Mikey WASN'T born in Jamaica.

It may indeed be the right of every player to play for their country, but it is also the right of every fan to expect their players to give their ALL for their club! That doesn't include self gratifying 'jollies' that necessitate travelling right across the World to feature in games that are invariably 'dead rubbers'.

Someone needs to sit down with Mikey and explain to him on which side his bread is buttered, he has fulfilled his 'dream' of representing the place of his parent's birth, but enough is enough. Hammers NEED big MIck to be firing on ALL cylinders, something that is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for a 31 year old to do if he is off gallivanting around chasing trophies that are never going to be won!

A quick notice of 'retirement' from the international arena is all it takes, no one from the Reggae Boyz would begrudge Antonio. However Hammers fans WILL begrudge the striker if he continues to place country above club, especially as he is London born and bred! - LN

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Throwing A Queen's Platinum Jubilee Party: 6 Ideas For A Royal Bash

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Submitted by nevillenixon on Wed, 23/02/2022 - 10:14

If you're thinking about throwing a Queen's Platinum Jubilee party, then you probably want to go all out. From a themed menu to table decorations, here are five ideas that will help you do just that.

Group Footie

Get a gathering of people together to watch the Nations League qualifiers as England take on Germany, Italy and Hungary, what better way to celebrate her majesty's platinum than having a vibrant collection of people from across ALL groups roaring the nation on to success. It is well known that the Queen is a West Ham supporter, as was her mother before her, although those bastions of honesty the Sun have recently tried saying otherwise.

Themed Menu

You can do an old-school British feast, or you could create a menu inspired by the Queen's reign thus far. If you're going for the former, serving dishes like shepherd's pie and beef Wellington would be an option. For the latter, some potential menu items might include Jubilee cake and a coronation chicken sandwich.

Table Decorations

Table decorations can easily give a party a more celebratory feeling, especially when the celebration is for a royal occasion like a Queen's Platinum Jubilee.

A centrepiece is an excellent way to add some colour and personality to your table. Flowers, moss, and greenery are all great options. But if you want to get creative, try some horseshoes or mini crowns instead. Another easy decoration is balloons! Balloons in different colours, with crowns on them or even ones shaped like crowns, are perfect decoration options for any party.

Don't forget to add a touch of royal flair, from flags and candles to gold and silverware. You can also use royalty-themed plates or tablecloths for a more personal touch.

Flags And Bunting

Flags and bunting from a flag store is an excellent way to bring the theme of the party together. If you're not sure what flags to use, then the Union Jack is always a good option. For the bunting, you can use red, white, and blue, or you can mix it up with any colours that match your theme. If you're looking for inspiration, check out the range at North West Flags. This could help elevate your party and help focus the theme.

Party Games

Games are a time-honoured tradition at any party. Whether you're looking for a way to have your guests mingle or just want to have some fun, games can be a great addition to your party. When it comes to a party themed around the Queen's platinum jubilee, you can choose any types of games to have at your party.

If you're thinking of throwing it in the garden, you could have throwing games such as ring toss or throwing balls at coconuts. When inside, you could have colouring games for the children and later into the night drinking games, like beer pong, for the adults. You can also use traditional games like "guess who" and charades, or you can create your own game like a scavenger hunt.

Formal Or Casual?

Before you start planning your party, you need to decide if it should be formal or casual. If you want to throw a more formal event, you'll want to get dressed up and avoid any tacky decorations. Formal events typically have a dress code, and people don't usually wear jeans. If you're going for a more laid back vibe, then the dress code will depend on what you prefer, and it doesn't have to be overly formal. You could even throw in some formal touches like top hats for your guests to add a touch of silliness to your party.

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Irons Could Host UEFA Final

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Submitted by nevillenixon on Wed, 23/02/2022 - 08:07

The ever spiralling crisis in the Ukraine has meant that the venue for this season's UEFA Champions League final will be moved, but to where? European Football's governing body is assessing the situation before making a final decision but it is set to be looking for a new venue at short notice for the third year running. The past two Champions League finals were played in Portugal because of Covid-19 related issues.

The game is still scheduled to be played on Saturday the 28th of May, which rules Wembley out as a host as the League Two and Championship play-off finals are set to be played at the stadium over that weekend. Other venues in the British capital are being considered as part of "a comprehensive package of sanctions against Russia" to be imposed.

"Hosting games should be a privilege not a right, we consider the final should be taken away from St Petersburg and London stands ready to host the Final," said one spokesperson. UEFA has already postponed the Youth League last 16 tie between Dynamo Kyiv and Sporting Lisbon which was scheduled to be played in the Ukraine capital on the 2nd of March.
London Mayor 'Sadist' Khan was quick to rubber stamp the venue being switched to London in the firm belief that the final would be held at his club Tottingham's brand spanking new stadium, unfortunately he didn't realise that Guns N' Roses are scheduled to play a gig there on Saturday the 28th of May!

Arsenal's Emirates stadium has also been put forward as an alternative venue, but the transport links are considered to be incompatible for fans travelling from across Europe. Of course the final may well feature TWO English teams, as it did last year, so travel will not be such a major issue.

For London venues that leaves just the London Stadium, warts and all! The Stadium might not be entirely fit for purpose, but it DOES have superb transport and infrastructure links, arguably the best in the country. Hosting the Champions League final at Stratford would be a way of 'rubber stamping' the Stadium for future use, ALL extra revenue should be given straight back to the tax payer as well! - Ed

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Another Striker Irons Wanted Injured!

Submitted by Louis Nixon on Tue, 22/02/2022 - 16:08

Ben Brereton Diaz, the Chilean international who plays for Blackburn Rovers has picked up an injury that could see him sidelined for the rest of the season. Blackburn are anxiously waiting to see how severe the ankle ligament injury their star player sustained is, but they fear the worst.

Brereton Diaz was at one time top of David Moyes' January transfer list, however Blackburn's outrageous valuation of the player scared of not only the Irons, but a host of other 'interested' Premier League clubs. Brereton Diaz is the 2nd striker wanted by Moyes to have picked up a serious injury since the window closed.

Andrea Belotti is STILL injured, despite originally intending to return at the end of January and is experiencing a current 'injury nightmare'. It does go to show that the grass isn't always greener when it comes to 'high profile' transfers, technically Hammers could have signed either Brereton Diaz or Balotti and still ended up with NO STRIKER!-LN

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7 Days Will Define Irons Season

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Submitted by nevillenixon on Tue, 22/02/2022 - 10:29

Thursday the 24th of February through to Wednesday the 2nd of March are seven days in the footballing calendar that might well make or break Hammers ENTIRE season, beginning with the Europa League play offs 2nd round games which will reveal who West Ham will face in the last 16 stage.

On Sunday the 27th of February David Moyes' team are at home to in form Wolves who will go above Hammers with a win, recent results suggest a resounding victory for the visitors as they HAVE the momentum, whereas West Ham are in the middle of an atrocious run of form, more akin to relegation candidates than Champions League pretenders.

During such a seminal week there will be no time for breathers, hot on the heels of the Wolves game which might make the difference between a top slot or a top schlot*, comes the away FA Cup tie against an equally in form Southampton. Both the Saints and Wolves are playing with the sort of swagger Hammers did at the beginning of the season, getting a result against either team will be a tall order indeed.

So to sum things up: Find out Europa opponents on Thursday, *hit or bust Champions League aspirations on Sunday and realise FA Cup dream or nightmare on Wednesday. It's only SEVEN DAYS, but it will be 7 days that might well define, or at least have a massive significance on Hammers entire season. - Ed

*Schlot: chimney, flue, smokestack, chimney stack, funnel sink, canal, dome, chimney pipe, good-for-nothing smokestack.

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Even Tougher Calls Ahead For DM

Submitted by Louis Nixon on Mon, 21/02/2022 - 09:45

It would be much easier to jump on the doom and gloom Hammers threads around this morning rather than trying to be positive following this weekend's draw against Newcastle that felt so much like a defeat, but here goes. In our opinion constructive criticism is acceptable even though it may be painful, and there can be no more painful a decision to make as to Tomas Soucek's continued selection, closely followed by the 'Antonio up top' dilemma.

There is NO point in bleating on about the non-existent new arrivals during the January transfer window, it is what it is now, regardless of the cavalier stupidity of the board AND the manager. One thing most people will agree on is that Hammers look just like an under resourced team that has ground to a halt under the strain of competing in too many simultaneous competitions for them to cope with.

Most notably Tomas Soucek AND Vlad Coufal have both looked shadows of their former selves, unfortunately Hammers ONLY striker Mikey Antonio is also going through a lean spell that has seen him playing out of position in order to try and get some service.

Soucek is currently being deployed in a role to which he is NOT suited, that is not to say that he doesn't try his hardest, far from it, but he is just NOT a deep lying defender, his strengths have always been as a marauding attacking midfielder who scares the hell out of opposition defenders due to his late surging runs into the box which invariably cannot be picked up until it is too late.

Playing in such a defensive role has essentially nullified Soucek's ability to influence a game like he did last season, his positional change has been made in order to facilitate Declan Rice's more attacking role this season. It should be remembered that when Tomas resumed his attacking role against Watford, due to Declan Rice being suspended, he scored a goal and looked every ounce of the player he used to be!

Moyes needs to either reverse Dec and Tommy's roles or drop the latter, problem of course being who could replace Soucek as a deep lying midfielder, Alex Kral anybody? It is entirely correct to drop Tommy, he has been less than impressive in a role he was not supposed to be playing, Kral is far more suited to being a defensive' destroyer.

The other bone of contention is Mikey Antonio, recently he has spent more time on his backside than his feet and would definitely benefit from being benched, Hammers coughed up nearly THIRTY MILLION POUNDS to bring Nikola Vlasic to the club, surely NOW is the time to utilise his talents.

Vlasic's physique looks like that of a mixed martial arts fighter, to us he seems like an ideal replacement for Big Mick, let Vlasic start and then bring Mikey on for the last 25 minutes or so of the game. Vlasic deserves to be given a start, hopefully the Boss will do the right thing and start him.

David Moyes is going to HAVE to make some tough calls during the week, even if it means dropping a couple of his 'pet' players! - LN

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Why Have They 'Given Up'?

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Submitted by nevillenixon on Sun, 20/02/2022 - 11:07

What is it with West Ham? Just as the club is on the cusp of greatness, it appears to be doing its level best to muck things up, kindly note that we used the word Muck! That sentiment might be shared differently by fans, but whatever your opinion of whoever is to blame, the fact is Hammers are in a downward spiral that shows little chance of ending in smiles.

Watching the team from the stands yesterday was reminiscent of the bad old days under Pellegrini, where there was hardly a plan A, let alone a plan B! The players looked devoid of energy and inspiration and were made to look lethargic by visitors Newcastle who were disappointed to leave with only one point, whereas they deserved ALL three points.

Is it fear of failure that is paralysing the team, or is it fear of success? Either way the season is in danger of ending anti-climatically with the added nasty caveat of potential player departures. We have always tried to maintain at least some modicum of positivity, but yesterday's 'offering' was the last straw.

The club's reluctance to 'waste' money during the January transfer window is having the serious repercussions that everyone feared, everyone that is except for David Moyes and the board, who developed collective blindness and amnesia to such an extent that they convinced themselves of the impossible!

We can only conclude that their denial of reality was 'induced' by the remarkable run of luck the club experienced, somehow convincing themselves that a wafer thin squad could mix it with the top clubs and come out trumps. Well the only trumps that Hammers have emerged with resemble the bloated dictator himself.

There was a Golden opportunity to break through the Glass ceiling, one which will probably not be available again for a generation. Sullivan & Gold will stay in situ until they can fleece the club and the tax payer for as much money as they can and then leave the 'Kretin in the Sky' to rue ever having been involved with such a bunch of greedy amateurs! - Ed

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