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Darren Randolph has finally left the building, it is not his fault that the Hammers stopper was more wary of splinters from the bench rather than sprinters from the pitch! The ex-Republic of Ireland goal keeper was brought back to the club as a panic purchase and has rarely ever been used.

WEST HAM UNITED, how many ladders have accidentally been walked under? How many black cats have been run over and how many mirrors have been cracked or broken? How many chain letters not sent on etc? You get the picture, other teams have injury crises, for example Chelsea are without ten first team players at the moment.

Having been the butt of countless jokes and jibes from this site and many others, 'Les Balon' Dawson has finally made it back oop North! "The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'