Braithwaite To Irons-Who's Having A Giraffe?

According to a report in spanish media outlet Sport, the Denmark International Martin Braithwaite is very close to joining the Irons, one of their reporters Albert Roge has claimed that there is a “very advanced agreement” Via his personal Twitter account. Well, according to our twitter account that 'report' is stupid, a load of old cobblers, in Roge's language: una tonteria, un montón de zapateros viejos!

Why on this God's earth would Hammers stump up the 'reported' €15 Million transfer to 'cash strapped' Barcelona for a 30 year old who failed to impress in England before when playing for Middlesbrough? Roge's words of wisdom continued with
“Braithwaite, very close to West Ham. €15M transfer. Very advanced agreement between clubs. The forward’s OK is missing.”

Bit of a naff translation that one, as is often the case with 'scoops' from foreign media that are translated incorrectly. Braithwaite is supposedly still undecided whether he wants to tell Barcelona that West Ham are the club he would like to join.....He should be so lucky!

Barcelona can't wait to bounce Braithwaite out the Camp Nou door, it is not really a question of how much Barca would receive as a fee, more like how much they would pay a club to take his ridiculous wages of their books. Apparently there are 'several' clubs who have shown interest in Braithwaite, who however doesn't quite fit the 'looking for a final pay day' bracket, due to the fact that he is insanely wealthy in his own right, he has earned as much money as Lionel Messi!
Braithwaite's fortune though has come from off his off field business interests that he runs jointly with his brother and with his wife, property and fashion, how very nice. So he is over 30, not particularly good and demands massive wages, the exact polar opposite of David Moyes's player template of young, fit and hungry.

Apparently the only detail holding the deal back is the player's salary, crikey mikey he should be paying to play, Roge's having a giraffe! Not in our wildest nightmares, mind you, Sully does love a Scandic you know! - Ed