Look Behind You, It's Dimitri Payet! Oh No It Isn't, Oh Yes It Is!

It is neither Christmas, nor the Pantomime season, but that doesn't stop a good West Ham story does it? Dimitri Payet has been linked with a move to the club for the past couple of weeks, it had been reported that West Ham had lodged an ​improved offer for the Marseille midfielder, having had an initial £7.5 Million offer turned down, (where do people get these figures?).
Enter stage left the agent, audience boo and hiss, co-owners take umbrage, why? Imagine a parent, one who has spent a fortune on getting a long awaited 'quality' present for their child at Christmas, only for some meddling Aunt to announce not only that a special present was going to arrive, but what was in it!
Cue the two David's, Sullivan and Gold, West Ham United's co-owners, they have 'worked tirelessly' to bring in a quality player, one who will thrill the fans, it was all set up to be another special event, and then the Agent could not resist letting his fingers do the talking.
​Football agent and good friend of Slaven Billic, Muzzi Ozcan, claimed on Twitter that Dimitri Payet had signed for West Ham. Ozcan, who also revealed that Billic had agreed terms with the Hammers the day before the club made the official announcement, tweeted the following announcement at 00:47am: "I can confirm that Dimitri Payet has signed for West Ham wish both parties a successful era." Ozcan swiftly deleted the announcement, and later tweeted that his account had in fact been hacked although he also 'liked' a tweet that inferred he had broken the story too soon, it now seems inevitable that Payet is about to be 'revealed' by the club.
The 'two daves' have made their feelings crystal clear about future 'revelations', after all, it's their sweet shop and their ball! -Ed