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Forget James Tarkowski, Duje Caleta-Car and Wesley Fofana, the Hammers 'Comedy Show' are pleased to announce the impending arrival of none other than Watford's unwanted opening act, 'Les' Dawson! Now we know Panto season is just around the corner, and this year in particular it will be extremely difficult to put on a good show, however the Hammers hierarchy have searched long and hard for a 'fitting' centre back and are consequently looking forward to welcoming the 30 year old 'young at heart'.

Failing a last minute 'intervention' by one of the 'elite' clubs, or a club with a lot more dosh, Said Benrahma is due to become a West Ham United player, the 25 year old Algerian International is due to undertake a medical ahead of signing a five year deal. Depending on your news source the 'undisclosed' fee Brentford are to receive will be around £17 Million with another £8 Million in add ons, just in case by some weird chance the Irons get in to European competitions.

Typical West Ham, for a brief moment things looked rosy, or even Clarety, as David Moyes' new formation threatened to bring some joy to long suffering supporters, however just as our song says about dreams, "they fade and die", so the news that 'King' Authur Masuaku has been sent home from the DR Congo camp will be met with torrid acceptance. How dare fans dream of embarrassing other teams in the Barclays Premier League with Hammers' blistering new format and players that are able to carry out Moyes' master plan?

'Apparently' West Ham United's pursuit of striker Joshua King from relegated Bournemouth has hit the buffers as a result of the player's wage demands, on closer examination the Noregian International's demands seem little different to the 'going rate' for experienced Barclays Premier League strikers.

David Moyes' Championship shopping list is concise but acute, ideally he would like to bring in "a couple of players", sooner rather than later, obtaining precious training time with his new players is paramount, unfortunately, as is common with Barclays Premier League deals, brinkmanship rears it's ugly head.

West Ham United's pursuit of a centre back have taken on almost 'boxed set' proportions, one after the other targets have fallen by the way side for a variety of reasons, NOT always the club's fault. The 'fear' story doing the rounds is Hammers' interest in twice relegated 30 year old 'Les' Dawson from Championship team Watford, a bang average player at best, the mooted £4 Million fee is outrageous, the Hornets should be paying clubs to take Dawson of their wage bill instead!

Fue divertido mientras duró, In other words, it was fun while it lasted, but now is time for West Ham fans, particularly the females, to say goodbye to Felipe Anderson with his good looks, disarming smile and short shorts. The grim reality is that for whatever reason, Anderson arrived, shone, and then burned, his stock having fallen to such an extent that no one wanted to buy him, and a loan arrangement with FC Porto was the only deal on the table.

Life as a West Ham fan has been pretty miserable for some time now, with the side plodding along in the Premier League. The raucous atmosphere of Upton Park has gone, the fans have turned on the board and we don’t have the finances to compete with most mid-table teams in the Premier League – never mind the top six.

However, whilst the anger towards the owners won’t disappear, there are finally reasons for positivity on the pitch, with things finally coming together under David Moyes.

West Ham United and Jack Wilshire have come to a mutual agreement in terminating his current contract from today onwards, the ex-england midfielder will consequently be able to sign for other clubs any where because he will be a free agent and as such can sign outside the transfer window.

With the closure of the transfer window looming closer it has become quite apparent that it is highly unlikely for any new players arriving in time to be registered, having failed with plenty of bids it appears the club will be looking towards the Championship and lower leagues for reinforcements. With the transfer window between Premier League and Championship clubs not closing for a further 11 days there is plenty of time to close deals.