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Contrary to all the 'leaked' reports, West Ham United have finally managed to avoid playing one of the top six sides in their opening fixture of the Barclays Premier League. The Irons begin the 2020/1 season with a 'home' fixture against Newcastle, a team that should have had a 'big spending' prefix, however just like West Ham they are broke. The Toons troubles are due to the failed take over of the club by a middle eastern consortium, the Irons troubles are down to a certain Chilean!

In a meeting held last week between David Moyes, David Sullivan, David Gold and the other part of the 'unholy trinity', West Ham United's precarious finances and future transfer policy were discussed at great length and plans were made in order to try and offset the appalling fiscal downturn that has resulted due to the tragic Covid-19 pandemic.

"Bulging veins, particularly on your face, are often no cause for concern, they're typically seen on the front of your forehead or on the sides of your face by your temples. While they can often be associated with age, protruding forehead veins can be a sign of pressure or stress." Well, those West Ham United players, particularly those who fall within the 'luxury' category, who haven't properly encountered Stuart Pearce, AKA Psycho, might well be focusing on the exit door pending his arrival, even if they were not that way inclined before.