Someone Tell The Sun It Isn't April 1st-Retain Carroll? Ha Ha

You can always tell when there is a quiet week for the Barclays Premier League, especially at the beginning of the transfer window, writers desperate to provide column inches vie for readers by providing any news they can to fill the vacuum, some more than others never let the truth get in the way of a good story. However the premise of such articles require a modicum of truth, or at least a vague possibility that they may contain an element of truth, but when those bastions of honesty the Sun 'proclaim' West Ham United are preparing to offer Andrew Thomas Carroll a 'new' deal, but on reduced terms, even the most deluded of people smell a rat!

Why on earth would West Ham want to re-sign Andy Carroll? It would be a bit like going through a messy divorce that bankrupts you only to get remarried before the ink has dried on the divorce papers, people have done it, although usually while the balance of their minds are disturbed, but West Ham United is a football club. Having been so taken to the cleaners that it was forensic by Mark Curtis when he negotiated Carroll's deal, the club would lose all credibility, or what is left of it, were they to sign Carroll, even if he was paying to play!

With the benefit of hindsight West Ham would have stayed well clear of Andy Carroll, alas that was not to be, and even if he did miraculously manage to stay injury free, he is so far off the pace now of a game that has changed beyond recognition from the days when he was able to play. Some might say that the club has spent a fortune on him and why should another club benefit? To which we respond, 'maintaining' Andy is similar to owning a collectors car, you throw good money after bad knowing that you will never recover the money you have laid out, but at least with a classic car you will have a pretty vehicle to look at even if it doesn't start.

It is time West Ham moved forward and drew a line in the sand under the Carroll 'folly', with a note to self "avoid signing injury prone players, their acquisition rarely makes sense in the end. Perhaps Mr Curtis is pals with the Sun? Of course he is, their story about Andy Carroll doesn't have legs on it, does that remind you of something?! - Ed