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The expression 'you couldn't make it up' springs to mind when trying to summarise West Ham United's desperate and disparate transfer activity during stage two of the transfer window, the opportunity to 'trade' between Barclays Premier League and Championship clubs lasts until Friday, of course players who are free agents can sign any time they like so long as there is available space in a club's declared squad.

Forget James Tarkowski, Duje Caleta-Car and Wesley Fofana, the Hammers 'Comedy Show' are pleased to announce the impending arrival of none other than Watford's unwanted opening act, 'Les' Dawson! Now we know Panto season is just around the corner, and this year in particular it will be extremely difficult to put on a good show, however the Hammers hierarchy have searched long and hard for a 'fitting' centre back and are consequently looking forward to welcoming the 30 year old 'young at heart'.

Failing a last minute 'intervention' by one of the 'elite' clubs, or a club with a lot more dosh, Said Benrahma is due to become a West Ham United player, the 25 year old Algerian International is due to undertake a medical ahead of signing a five year deal. Depending on your news source the 'undisclosed' fee Brentford are to receive will be around £17 Million with another £8 Million in add ons, just in case by some weird chance the Irons get in to European competitions.