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Just after the medical staff at West Ham had finished patting themselves on the back for having finally cracked the 'Carroll Injury Code', they heard that old familiar V8 rumble of Andy's Overfinch Range Rover as it attempted to pull in to his usual parking space. There was a bit of a kerfuffle when Carroll realised that the space that he had occupied for so long had been taken by 'that Wilshere geezer's imported US 1960's Ford Galaxy ambulance.

Manuel Pellegrini, or this 'Charming Man' as he was known to Manchester City fans while managing at the Etihad, was far from charming when he met up with his players for Monday's post match analysis of Saturday's dreadful performance against relegation strugglers Cardiff City.

Apparently there was some 'styrofoam damage' done to drinking receptacles, the players not being allowed to use real china for fear of freak injury, followed by a 'Bonzo' style work out the likes of which Rush Green has never seen before, it made Moyes and Psycho look like Yoga teachers.

Having essentially frozen season ticket prices since the move to the London Stadium from the Boleyn Ground, West Ham United have announced various price increases for next season's tickets. Prices for cheapest founder tickets went up last year by default, in order to get the £298 offer it was neccassary to renew for two years, otherwise the price was £320, exactly what it will be for next season, all good there then.