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Bang, there goes the 'beautiful' friendship between Hammers boss Slaven Billic and last year's hero Dimitri Payet. Billic came straight out with it during his weekly press conference, Payet has refused to play or even train with the rest of the team in order to force through a return to newly rich Marseille, the club that sold him to West Ham for £10.75 Million. Rumours of Payet's discontent have been rife, and these along with his recent body language and languid performances meant the player once seen as West Ham's talisman was always going to leave the club sooner rather than later.

Back in the day there was a TV series called Hogan's Heroes in which a ramshackle bunch of P.O.W's led by Captain Hogan, including an appalling Dick Van Dyke sound alike 'cockerney', rang rings round ze germans, one of which named Schultz would famously say "I saw nothing!"when outfoxed by the cheeky chappies. Fast track to the present day, and the entertainment known as the Barclays Premier League transfer window, in this particular episode Hogan rides to the rescue of West Ham United, a team sadly lacking goals.

West Ham United: 13Adrián, 4Nordtveit 2Reid 21Ogbonna 3Cresswell 31Fernandes 14Obiang 7Feghouli 10Lanzini 30Antonio 9Carroll Subs: 1Randolph 16Noble 24Fletcher 27Payet 28Calleri 35Oxford 36Quina
Manchester City: Caballero, Sagna, Stones, Otamendi, Clichy, Toure, Zabaleta, De Bruyne, Silva, Sterling, Aguero Subs: Nolito, Kolarov, Jesus Navas, Delph, Iheanacho, Garcia, Bravo