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Having been the butt of countless jokes and jibes from this site and many others, 'Les Balon' Dawson has finally made it back oop North! "The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'

West Ham: Fabianski, Zouma, Aguerd, Ogbonna, Coufal, Rice, Paqueta, Emerson, Bowen, Antonio, Benrahma. Subs: Areola, Johnson, Cresswell, Fornals, Lanzini, Downes, Ings, Kehrer, Soucek
Everton: Pickford, Tarkowski, Mina, Coady, Coleman, Onana, Gueye, Mykolenko, Iwobi, Calvert-Lewin, Gray. Subs: Begovic, Holgate, McNeil, Gordon, Maupay, Davies, Vinagre, Simms, Price.

Hammers recent League form has resembled a runaway train going in the wrong direction for so long that it is in danger of running itself over! No matter how it is viewed, the club's form has been little short of atrocious with NO sign of improvement despite a raft of what seemed like shrewd summer signings.

For various reasons the new signings have only served to drag the club closer to the relegation zone as opposed to the upper reaches of the Premier League as they were originally intended. How and why could it all have gone so horribly wrong?

The 15th richest club in the World are currently trying to make a desperate attempt at staying in the World's richest League, that team is West Ham United and the 30 year old player they are after to help them surive is Danny Ings, who is a striker at Aston Villa.

West Ham's young and hungry template seems to have been put on the back burner as the club scramble to ensure Premier League survival, Champions League aspirations have been replaced with Championship nightmares that have real potential of becoming reality.

How Long Has This Been Going ON? No not a song from one hit wonders ACE about a band member moonlighting with another bands, but a reference to Hammers appalling run of form!

Wolves: Sá, Semedo, Collins, Kilman, Bueno, Moutinho, Neves (c), Hwang, Nunes, Podence, Cunha Subs: Sarkic (GK), Aït-Nouri, Lemina, Jiménez, Jonny, Toti, A. Traoré, Hodge, Campbell
West Ham: Fabiański, Coufal, Aguerd, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Rice (c), Souček, Bowen, Paquetá, Fornals, Antonio Subs: Randolph (GK), Benrahma, Downes, Johnson, Kehrer, Lanzini, Emerson, Scamacca, Zouma

Wolves Hungry For Hammers

West Ham's next Premier League opponents Wolves, have been showing more than an unhealthy interest in Hammers defensive stalwart Craig 'Balon Dawson' and 'unhappy' striker Michail Antonio. Dawson's desire to return oop north is well documented and it is accepted he will be back where his family are from sooner rather than later.

Sebastien Haller played for Borussia Dortmund in a friendly which was his first game since his return following treatment for testicular cancer. The ex-Hammer and Ivory Coast striker came off the bench after 73 minutes against Fortuna Duesseldorf in Marbella, a game that his team went on to win 5-1.

Brentford: Strakosha, Dasilva, Mee, Ajer, Jenson (c), Wissa, Damsgaard, Sorensen, Roerslev, Ghoddos, Lewis-Potter Subs: Cox (GK), Henry, Canos, Schade, Jorgensen, Janelt, Stevens, Trevitt, Yarmoliuk.
West Ham: Fabiański, Johnson, Dawson, Ogbonna, Aguerd, Emerson, Rice ©, Souček, Paquetá, Bowen, Antonio Subs: Randolph (GK), Cresswell, Fornals, Downes, Benrahma, Kehrer, Coventry, Swyer, Mubama.

Leeds: Meslier, Ayling, Koch, Cooper, Struijk, Roca, Adams, Aaronson, Gnonto, Summerville, Rodrigo. Subs: Robles, Firpo, Harrison, Llorente, Gyabi, Kristensen, Gelhardt, Greenwood, Klich.

West Ham: Fabiański, Coufal, Kehrer, Dawson, Aguerd, Rice ©, Paquetá, Souček, Fornals, Bowen, Scamacca Subs: Areola (GK), Johnson, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Emerson, Downes, Lanzini, Benrahma, Antonio. Special Sub: David Gold.