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"Everyone ran and was committed throughout the game. They deserve a lot of praise, the players, for what they’ve done, they’ve been away and they’ve got something out of today’s game. Just a bit more quality at the death might have just got us something more.”

Picture it now, your team are at home to the League's biggest time wasters and worst 'simulators'. Despite you, your team is still in with a shout for three incredibly valuable points in their desperate scrap against relegation. 60,000 fans are cheering your team on for the closing stages of the game which is finely balanced, the match officials, particularly the linesman on the opposite flank to the dug outs are blind to the 'Villains' perpetual play acting and time wasting, but nevertheless there is is still a good chance of getting a result, so what do you do?

West Ham: Areola, Kehrer, Zouma, Aguerd, Emerson, Rice, Soucek, Bowen, Paqueta, Benrahma, Ings
Subs: Anang, Johnson, Cresswell, Scamacca, Fornals, Lanzini, Downes, Cornet, Ogbonna
Villa: Martinez, Cash, Konsa, Mings, Moreno, McGinn, Ramsey, Luiz, Bailey, Watkins, Buendia.
Subs: Olsen, Sinisalo, Carlos, Traore, Chambers, Young, Duran, Digne.

"Ooh you are awful, but I like you" was a catch phrase of the late great comedian Dick Emery, his totally politically incorrect 'camp fire' character would utter such an expression just before aggressively pushing away or slapping the reporter asking him questions regarding his 'camp' stance and it's inferred standpoint. Many referenced the expression when Unai Emery chose to manage Arsenal instead of West Ham and were amused by the brevity of his tenure.

Hammers took a big step towards the quarter-finals of the Europa Conference League Cup with an 'easy peasey' first-leg victory at AEK Larnaca.

The Home team caused some early problems but West Ham grew in confidence and started to resemble a team that had topped their group and were unbeaten in the competition. It was a question of when, not if, Hammers were going to score. An unmarked Antonio expertly headed Said Benrahma's superb left-wing delivery into the right corner on the 36th minute to open the scoring.

Larnaca : Pirić, Casas, Miličević, Tomović, Englezou ©, Mamas, Gus, Oier, Rosales, Jakoliš, Lopes Subs: Toumpas (GK), Stylianidis (GK), Gonzalez, Tričkovski, Faraj, Christoforou, Naoum, H.Andreou, Altman, Nikolić
West Ham : Areola, Kehrer, Zouma, Aguerd, Cresswell, Rice ©, Lanzini, Downes, Fornals, Benrahma, Antonio Subs: Hegyi (GK), Anang (GK), Johnson, Emerson, Ogbonna, Souček, Paquetá, Cornet, Bowen, Scamacca, Ings

West Ham United's foray in the third tier of European Cup Football continues this evening with the first leg of the fixtures against AEK Larnaca in Cyprus. Although potential Hammers manager Jose Mourinho celebrated like there was no tomorrow when Roma won the ill conceived trophy last year, the truth is that it is a 'Micky Mouse 'Cup that was 'invented' solely as a revenue earner and has little real meaning in the great scheme of things.

Wouldn't Hammers fans just love it? The sight of Paulo Di Canio patrolling the touch line, just ready to erupt in a 'stylish Roman rage' at the slightest offence by his own players let alone the opposition! Majority shareholder David Sullivan once said that he would absolutely 'love' Di Canio as a manager but that he was a loose canon that couldn't be controlled.

Excuse the Star Wars vernacular, but far far away, back in the day, Smoke and mirrors were the preferred method of communication used by the club to 'muddy the water' as Hammers fans sought clarity regarding the future of their beloved club. For a brief while that antiquated and unworkable approach was abandoned during what many now see as a halcyon period in time when the owners finally stopped living their business lives on media platforms and let the club progress with the minimum amount of negativity and fuss. Unfortunately the 'Dark Star' has returned!

No, not a set of new home and away replica survival kits to be flogged off to the next generation of lambs to the slaughter more commonly known as young West Ham fans. The 2nd part of the headline K.I.T.S!, which follows Panic attack, stands for 'Kretin in the Sky' the name used behind the back of Hammers second highest share owner by his subordinates and also his fellow shareholders, if rumours are to be believed.