Forum | Non-Football Related

Sooner or later one or two of the protagonists competing in the battle to sign Maximiliano "Maxi" Gómez González from Celta Vigo were going to fall by the way side, and that is exactly what is happening. Essentially West Ham and Valencia were supposed to be in a 'bidding' war for the 22 year old Uruguayan striker who has a £43.5 Million release clause, however news then 'broke' that Hammers nemesis' Tottenham had joined the party!

Firstly, Daniel Levy has a personal 'agenda' when it comes to West Ham United, he is like a child who wanted a present but didn't get it, eventually he got an amazing present but didn't want anyone to have the present that he was denied, setting about ensuring that the recipients are made to pay in full! Therefore Tottenham's interest in Gomez will likely be similar to their supposed interest with most players linked with West Ham, ie: no real interest, just a pathetic attempt at pushing the player's price up.

This is one of the reasons why the 'silence of the Davids' is so important, back in the day a war of words would have broken out between the hierarchies of both clubs, now Mario Husillos is the 'dark assassin' who does the nitty gritty's for the Hammers and is way above conducting his business in the public domain. The main competition for Gomez's signature had been Valencia, the club who were interested in taking Javier Hernandez to Spain during the last transfer window.

Valencia though, have become disillusioned by Celta Vigo's stance over Gomez and have moved on, reports from Spain suggest they have switched their attention from Gomez to Espanyol star Borja Iglesias who is available for almost half of Gomez's price, they have also completed the signing of Cillessen from Barcelona for around £13 Million. In addition they are also close to sealing the signings of another two players from Barca, Denis Suarez and Rafinha Alcantara have been linked for a combined total of around £26 Million. Finally another player said to be close to a permanent move to Valencia is Villareal’s Russian international Denis Cheryshev for £5 Million after he spent last season on loan there.

Having missed out on Gomez Valencia have used up their budget, leaving West Ham as the main suitor, of course other clubs may still come in for the player but Celta's stance on his price means that they have priced him out of the market, a very dangerous game yo play by a club that need the money. This is where professional brinkmanship comes in to play, the 'Huse' is a beast when it comes to hunting down his man, and like was the case with Felipe Anderson, he will probably get his man, in fact there are rumours that he was the man responsible for putting Valencia in touch with Espanyol about Borja Iglesias!

The only real fly in the ointment is Uruaguay's involvement in the Copa America, Gomez would need time off before arriving at the London Stadium, leaving little time for the player to be integrated in to Manuel Pellegrini's set up. There will also be a few departures, so blending the new and old will be interesting to say the least, but the sort of task Pellegrini was made for. - Ed

Darren Harry has left the building, before his departure he left the third part of his tome regarding his rather strange West Ham United universe...
Thursday 27 July 2019…..11:50…..Epping…blue sky…breezy…warm….smell of weekend in the air…Sully hated working outside.

The glare of the sun on his laptop screen making email unreadable, the breeze blowing his paperwork everywhere, fly in his tea, bees hovering around his wagon wheel, but Mrs Sully was determined he should see some daylight. It wasn’t healthy the amount of time he spent in that office. She was resenting the business, the time that “bloody team” took away from their lives when they could be cruising around the Bahamas. If it wasn’t the laptop it was that bloody phone!

He was at it again, she knew he was scheming something as his toes were moving up and down in his sandals (visible through his socks). “So you think that’s a goer? I mean, I know they wont like it, but ‘ow else do they think we’re gonna buy all these bloody players, I just reduced my margins last year. People wanna live in the real world, see ow 'ard it is to make a ‘pand note. Right, yeah, I’ll wheel ‘im out. He dunno what day of the week it is ‘eel say anything. Yeah I’ll get some old players that are brassic to endorse it too, they’ll do anything to get a round of applause these days. Yeah, do it. With all the Brexit, PM stuff up in the air this’ll not get much heat. Ta’dah”.

With that Sully snapped the phone shut. “Whatch’yew scheming naw? I know that look” enquired Mrs S“Not for you to worry about my sweetness and light, dontchew wurry ya pretty little ‘ed. Now, I’ve gotta go and see the ol’ boy”. Sully jumped up and meandered his way inside his palatial residence, he was proud of what he’d built. The last few months had seen Sully had to make a tough call, his partner in crime, Guld, nearing his 100th birthday, was growing wearier by the day.

Sully had to keep him onside though, as the face of the club, the ones the fans could relate to, Sully had moved him in to Chez Sully to ensure he could manage his daily routine, keep a close eye on what he said, and monitor his twitter usage. He found him caught in the curtain in his bedroom, “Ah, come ‘ere old sausage, whatcha up to!” laughed Sully a dazed and confused Guld emerged from the fabric, hair like Don King “I lived at 442 Green Street you know!” croaked Guld, “Yeah yeah, we all that that one me old mucka” sighed Sully, he sat him down on the edge of the bed.

“Now, ya know ‘ow much we love West’am dontcha, you and me” Sully calmly worded his delivery, “EEEyyyy up the ‘ammers!” exclaimed Guld, “Yes, quite, anyway, ya know how I always have their best interests at heart” continued Sully, Guld remained quiet……he’s probably tired thought Sully. “Anyway, I’ve a new plan to generate more money, we can buy better players, become top 4, champions league! You’d like that wouldn’t you old mate?!”Sully over enthused, “I used to live at 442 Green Street” replied Guld, “I know ya did mate, I know. Now, all I need you to do is read this bit of paper, and we can go over it a few times, then you can tell all the nice people of West’am how this will make us the best team in the land? Capeesh?”

Sully handed him the paper, Guld looked down “Oxygen tax – London stadium 2019-20” -

You couldn't make it up, could you? Or could you? - Ed

Our legendary writer, the brilliant and outstanding Darren Harry, deemed to come down from his special planet and grace us with some of his unique observations that are believe it not related to West Ham United, here is part 2.

Thursday 27 July 2019…03:23….Santiago, Chile….Cool, damp, misty…air tinged with cigar smoke and distance car horns…Pell woke for the 2nd time. For the second time he took that well-worn path round the side of the bed to the bathroom. For the second time he fumbled in the dark, aimed in the general direction of the bowl and relaxed……..a few dribbles……”Is that it? Seriously?” Pell looked accusingly down at his withered member. It too was likely still asleep. The bladder is a cruel mistress. Pell returned to the 4 poster.

His wife snored blissfully unaware of his torment. Pell sat and rubbed his eyes.Taking one out of each socket at a time he polished them.These old faithful’s has seen much during his 66 years on this planet (although he’d rarely seen a less gifted technical player than Antonioe make it at the highest level, so it shows every day is a school day). Pell gave a squirt of WD40 into the sockets and replaced the old faithful’s to their rightful home. His brain was ticking now, as always happens when one is rudely interrupted in the night.

The defence had little room for manoeuvre budget wise but he really wanted to address it. Teams didn’t leak that amount of goals unless there is an issue there. Sure, Fabpantski had been incredible, but that made it slightly more worrying if he were injured. If his first choice paring were out, that became an Achilles heel, and Pell didn’t like that. The midfield was almost where he wanted it, a mixture of flair and guile. The rise of Dec had been a blessing. He cared little for protecting defenders and would rather attack, but the PL had proved you need insurance policies. Games went 95 minutes.

The forward line was now critical. He resolved to call Sully in the morning. He needed more ammunition. The much heralded sweet pea had become a Blackadder fan and was now one step away from wearing a pair of pants on his head and sticking a pencil up his nose. Arnie had more advisors than Trump and didn’t know what way was up let alone where the goal was. He needed a goal scorer and Sully needed to move heaven and earth to deliver. Whatever it took!